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How To Deal With A Defiant Toddler : Best Ways For Parents

2019-12-02

Want to find the best way about how to deal with a defiant toddler, here is the best answer for you. If your child is looking right into your eyes and saying that he is not going to do the thing that you have told him to do, you are not alone. You just don't know how to deal with a defiant toddler and that's it. It happens that some child behaves this way, they want to handle everything in their own way and think that they are the best lawyer and judge of their life.

A child does not want any interference in their life, it’s just that some child reacts in a more defiant and violent way. While the first thing you should do at this point is to avoid clash and keep calm. After that, you can follow the parenting ways that we have mentioned below.

7 parenting ways on how to deal with a defiant toddler

1. Don't ever take it personally

As a parent, you need to understand that the kid is not doing anything with the sole intention to defy or irritate you. Rigid, defiant and "off-track" behavior is a signal that your child is feeling disconnected from you and it only shows that you have to work towards establishing the connection with your child. You should understand the fact that they are not doing it to gain any attention, but they need attention and affection from your side.

2. Consider why they refuse

The basic reason they refuse to do the things is that they feel they are being controlled in a way and they are kind of fed up with it. Take it this way, imagine a day when you get up, and before you can even take a breath someone is telling you what to do. You're told what to wear, what to eat when to leave the house, and on and on. It does not mean that you allow your children to drive the way they want but giving some space and time to your kids is a good parenting way and it will surely help you in navigating their behavior in a better way.

3. Have patience

When thinking of how to deal with a defiant toddler, patience is a must-have. Sometimes, it is normal to behave in a certain way when your kids refuse to do something and you want them to do that at that very time. But having some patience is surely going to help you in some better way. Do not get too much irritated and start yelling at them all of a sudden. Instead, you can do some self-talk, take some time and don’t yell. In this way, you will be able to come with a better solution and you will able to make your child do the thing that you want them to do.

4. Reflect and honor a child's feelings and meet them where they are

This is the perfect way to react when your child is ready to go on war but not ready to do what you are telling them to do. In this situation, the only that will work efficiently is having calmness in the first place. After the self-talk, you can talk to the child and ask them politely why they do not want to do something, it will create a pause and your child will feel recognized and they will be less stubborn. And because you didn't engage in any type of power struggle, there is no authority or control to react to or push up against.

5. Hold boundaries on unsafe behavior only

Some parents try to control everything that their kids have to do and it creates some irrelevant boundaries. As a result, the kids get irritated and tries to react in a way that sometimes goes beyond our tolerance level. What you have to do here is to only set boundaries when it is necessaries and give your child some authority for the things that they are doing. When the child is behaving in a way that is inappropriate, the best thing you can do at that time is ignoring and give them some time to calm down. This is one of the best parenting ways and you should try to follow this religiously.

6. Keep a positive view of your child

Know that raising respectful, kind, productive members of society is a marathon and not a sprint. This is another time for self-talk: "My child is young and still learning. His brain is not done developing and he needs my gentle guidance." Trust him to turn things around. So if your child is not doing something that you want them to do, it is not going to last for long as only after some time their mind will change and they will do easily, yes, that’s how a child is and maybe that is why they are called kids in the first place.

7. Use some humor and power play

Using humor for laughter is one of the best parenting ways for the toddler. Humour, when used wisely, is a very valuable tool. But keep in mind to avoid sarcasm and teasing and aim for a silly, conspiratorial tone. For example, if your child resists teeth-brushing, you could say: "Hmm, the mouth seems to be closed, guess I'll need to brush your nose and ears instead." Watch them laugh as you do, and after enough giggles, they'll likely comply. The power play is when you play games that give a child a more powerful role.

 

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