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Understanding the Way Your Child Thinks

2020-08-05

The bus was honking again today. Kavya’s 7-year-old son Advait missed his bus today also. Even though Kavya woke him up an hour early and had done the preparations a night before, she still couldn’t get her son ready on time. As Kavya sat frustrated she wondered what was she missing on. She had done everything right but Advait took eternity to tie his shoe lace and reach the gate on time. Even though disappointed, she dropped him to school and then reached her office late too.

Kavya thought about it and discussed it with her psychologist sister. Her sister asked her to think in a manner in which a child thinks. The next day as soon as Advait finished his breakfast Kavya asked him to put on his shoes and she will tie his shoe laces after grabbing all her stuff from her room. When she returned from her room, she saw that advait had not only tied hoi sown shoe lace, but was ready with his backpack standing at the door waiting for Kavya.

Kavya son realised that it wasn’t Advait’s fault all this while. Somewhere, being a parent, she forgot that kids can’t process things easily and a very trivial issue like missing school bus would give them anxiety to the point that their actions are paralyzed. It was then that she understood that a child thinks differently.

This leads us to thinking in a manner a child thinks about them. For kid’s even a small issue is the end of the world. Has your kid ever cried because he/she couldn’t finish the syllabus for his exam the next day? This is because for them the exam the next day is the end of world. Their world is really small and small things matter to them. Be it their favourite toy or missing their school bus, we should understand that from a kid’s perspective these issues aren’t trivial and hold much importance in their life.

Why should you understand the way your child thinks? 

But again, the question arises that why should we in fact look at things the way our child thinks? How will it make a difference or the question rather should be does it even make a difference? If you are still stuck, then look at these points to know and understand why you should understand how your child thinks and look at things from his/her perspective.

  • Understanding how your child thinks makes you more empathetic

For your kid their breakups, rumours, failing and trivial issues are their world for them. The truth is they were important for you too at some point in your life, and you too had your fair share of complaining and ranting. You need to step up in your kid’s shoes to understand that these issues are the world around them and the world they live in, so yes, it does matter if they lost a friend or failed their test.

  • Avoids drama by understanding how your child thinks

When you understand situations the way your child thinks you can negotiate better in such situations. For example, when your kid cries over a balloon that flew away, don’t hush them by saying what is the big deal, instead tell them and console them that it is okay that the balloon flew and you will buy them a new one. This will save you from unnecessary drama and wailing.

How to start looking at things from the way your child thinks

  • When there is a fight over sharing

Well your kid loves playing with his/her friends but he/she hates when someone e else touches his/her stuff. That is normal. As an adult too, sometimes even you don’t like your personal stuff to be touched even by your friend. In these moments you can ask your kid to give turns and wait for their turn to come again. Till their turn comes they can sing their favourite song or count backwards.

  • Scared of dogs

Just imagine seeing a huge dog in front of you with horrifying teeth and scary expressions barking at you. Wouldn’t you be scared? Of course, you would be. Same happens with your kid when they encounter a dog. To them, dogs are no less than monsters with big teeth, scary eyes ready to gulp them down anytime. In such a situation just stand beside your kid firmly and ask them to not be scared of the dog and face their fear. While walking turn them to the other side so that they don’t walk just past the dog. After a few instances they will come to the realisation that dogs aren’t as scary as they seem to be.

  • Scared of dogs/ monster under bed.

You kids are probably scared of sleeping alone. They fear what is hiding in the dark. Kid scan be quite imaginative and think of all the possible things lurking in the dark. To ensure them that there is nothing hiding in the dark you can check inside their almirahs, under their beds and all possible places where a monster can hide to ensure that you didn’t encounter any hidden monster in their room so that they can sleep in peace.

  • Scared to fail in exam or a game

Your kid has a math exam tomorrow, but he is throwing tantrums and crying over an exam. This is normal for your kid because he doesn’t understand that a math exam isn’t a big deal and won’t even, matter after a few weeks. But for them this is the end of their world. Imagine yourself in a similar scenario where you have to present in front of your boss but still you are getting constant anxiety attacks. Same goes on in your kid’s mind. At such times you need to make your kids understand that exams are important but not as important that their mental peace is disturbed. Just ask them if the exam won’t matter after a week, they don’t need to cry over it. Believe it or not but this can improve your kid’s performance in his/her tests.

These were some of the ways in which you can see things from your kid’s perspective and understand how and what your child thinks. Let us know about your views on this in the comment box.

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