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What Is Helicopter Parenting And Why Is It Considered To Be Bad?

2019-09-30

The world is full of parents who are overly worried about the future of their kids and the result is Helicopter Parenting, they interfere in the decision of their children more than what is required.

There has been a significant rise in the amount of pressure that is being imposed on the kids and youth to achieve big and do better in their life.

While some parents are letting their child take some decision, many are so cautious about the future of their kids getting in the wrong direction that they try to make most of the decisions for their kids on behalf of them.

Although there are some positive effects of helicopter parenting in the initial stage, it has been reported that it is more harmful than beneficial in the long term.

What is Helicopter Parenting?

Helicopter parenting is the kind of parenting in which the parents try to take every decision for their kids. First used in Dr. Haim Ginott's 1969 book Parents & Teenagers by teens who said their parents would hover over them like a helicopter; the term has recently become popular enough for a dictionary entry in 2011. Some other terms for this kind of parenting are "lawnmower parenting," "cosseting parent," or "bulldoze parenting."

As per the concept of helicopter parenting, the parents who are involved in this kind of parenting are over conscious for the experience of their child and they try to control everything that is happening in the life of their children. They interfere in their decision and tell them how to behave especially if there is any success or failure.

The negative effect of Helicopter Parenting

Although Helicopter parenting seems perfect in the beginning, it has a lot of negative effects that start to show in the long term. Continuously hovering the kids to do something results in the kids not being able to decide what to do when the parents are not around. This problem increases when the kids enter the real world and they do not have their parents by their side. We have mentioned some of the negative effects of the helicopter parenting below.

1. Low Self-confidence

One of the major effects of this type of parenting is that over a period of time, the kid starts to realize that their parents do not trust them and they will not be able to do anything on their own. This reduces their self-confidence and self-esteem.

2. Underdeveloped life skills

There are some parents who tie shoes, pack lunches, launder clothes, and monitor school progress, even when their kids are mentally and physically capable of completing the task on their own. This eventually prevents their kids from learning these skills.

3. Lacking coping skill

As most of the time, their parents are there to help them cope up with any stress that has come in their life, the kid never learns how to cope with the problems on their own. The constant cleaning of the mess of their kids by the parents prevents them from learning valuable lessons of life.

4. Higher anxiety

One of the major negative effects of helicopter parenting is higher anxiety. A study from the University of Mary Washington has shown that over-parenting is leading their kids to higher levels of anxiety and depression.

5. Sense of entitlement

These types of parents adjust almost everything that comes into the life of their parents and this makes their kids a bit arrogant. They feel that they will always get what they want and this can be seen in their behavior, they start to demand things and their expectations are more or less unreasonable in the real world.

The positive effect of Helicopter Parenting

There are a few bodies of literature whose opinion is in contrast to the popular belief. They argue that the kids who are raised through this type of parenting are good at academics and they also get familiar with their kids. Most of the time, these kids are well involved and supportive.

The catch here is that the parent needs to understand the difference that their over-involvement can cause in the life of their kids. While supporting the kids is obviously a good thing, allowing them to learn to do things on their own is highly recommended.

Are you a Helicopter parent?

Some signs tell that you are doing a helicopter parenting, and if these signs are showing in your parenting pattern then it is high time you reconsider and make some changes. Most of the parents identified as helicopter parents tend to do all the tasks of their kids. Whether it is talking to their teacher, resolving any fight with their school-friends, deciding their exact schedule and time management and some other things like this. Helicopter parenting effects seem good in the beginning as you are taking full control of your child and he/she is getting success at most of the things. But some parents even do this kind of parenting even when the child is in high school or sometimes even in college. They tend to decide the major of their college, the friends they will make in the college and similar things.

If you are doing any of these things and anything similar then change your way of parenting as this is only going to harm your child in the long term.

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